“you can’t ask christ to come into your wound while you remain far from it. You have to go there with him.” — john eldredge
this is what I don’t know if I can do – go into the wounds I have run from, buried, ignored, anesthetized, and denied for decades – to let jesus reopen the scars and heal the wounds from the inside out
and while intellectually I know the only way out is through it, and the peace and joy I crave waits on the other side, it doesn’t feel like that – it feels like a bottomless well of excruciating pain that will destroy me
and that terrifies me
but I’m trying to get there…and while I’d like to claim I’m trying again because I want it enough or I’m brave enough, it’s really just because the running, burying, ignoring, anesthetizing, and denying isn’t working anymore, and there is no hope of peace without him
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